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Today the idea of a submissive wife is a sensitive subject and misunderstood. While books have been written and much said, yet modern thought ridicules the idea. One popular misconception is that a submissive person is weak, incapable of making decisions, or some how inferior. And they are forced to obey, so their lives must be sad and depressed. But the Biblical description of submissiveness is nothing like that. What does submissiveness mean according to the Bible? The NT calls Christians to submit [for their own good] “to the governing authorities”, that is, “every authority instituted among men” [Rom.13:1. 1 Pe.2:13]. And  to “one another out of reverence for Christ” [Eph5.21].  And all of this is a voluntary submission made by free choice. A Christian by choice and willingness intends to do what’s right unto God, others and for self.

And so Christian submission is a willingness to yield to one another out of love. It’s a mutual concern to surrender one’s own interests to those of others [Rom.12.10 Phi.2.3-4].  Jesus said, they who would be the greatest must humble themselves [Mt.18.1-4]. And indeed, the Greatest this world has known was characterised by perfect submission and humility.  He demonstrated greater excellence by submitting to the will of His Father. Personal significance to Him, did not depend on self.

This ‘submission’ does not mean ‘inferiority’. The first use of the NT word describes how Jesus as a child was ‘obedient’  and subject to His parents [Lk.2.51]. God in Christ , willingly chose to submit to a parental authority that was appropriate to His condition as a child. Did submission make Him inferior to them? No!  He always remained who He was.  

The Biblical concept of submission then is contrary to popular thought today. Although the critics label it ‘unworkable’ yet my own Mother has demonstrated Christian submission does work. And her submissiveness has been an example to all our family. As a young child it was apparent to me that her submissiveness originated from her love for the Lord and dad.  Year after year it became obvious to me that the value of such a wife is “above Rubies” [Pro.31.10].

Dad was a truly remarkable man. He was capable and respected by many. He built a business, a house and a yacht from nothing.  And people were drawn to him because of his warmth of character and godly wisdom. Sadly he developed a dangerous form of Melanoma. The years that followed required a series of medical operations, as the illness progressed. He suffered a debilitating stroke and lost the use of one side of his body. This was an enormous strain on both our parents yet their faith never wavered. As time went on the family watched as mum rose up to the task and took on more responsibilities, as he became less able.  

Although the family rallied-around there were times we were not able to help and the hospital did not provide a care-giver. So mum often single handedly struggled, lifted, washed, fed, and tended this fully grown man month after month. Often she became exhausted, it was a work that demanded every ounce of strength all hours of the day. The only complain was she couldn’t do more. The Lord finally called dad home. Mum went through all this uncertainty, pain and tears with a faith in God proven by word and deed. We would hear her say,  ‘I’m trusting the Lord’. In love she submitted her self to her husband as unto the Lord [Eph.5.22]. No one can tell me this woman was weak, incapable of making decisions, or submissiveness made her miserable. Rather, to be submissive takes courage and strength of character yet its benefits flow out for all. Her self-sacrifice for her family and husband is a noble and honorable testimony to her character.

God regards our faith as more precious than gold [1 Peter 1:7]. And when angels look down from heaven, they learn from God’s people [1 Peter 1:12. 1 Cor.4:9 11:10]. As we go through life and are faced with contradictions, complexities, turmoil, heartbreak and everything else life throws at us. When prayer seems unanswered and yet we continue to trust God, there’s rejoicing in heaven. All heaven watches with expectation anticipating the Day of reward. When we live within the Biblical framework of submission and trusting God through it all, the results will be a reward that does not pass away. A reward beyond  earthly comprehension.